Dear Troll on Periscope,

Hey, I wanted to talk to you after I had time to process things. You know, your comments hit me pretty hard. It’s already hard to be female in a public space, much less a fat one. Today I also happened to be an unshowered, fat chick. Man. I was really asking for it, wasn’t I? Except I wasn’t. See, here’s what you don’t know about me because you didn’t bother to learn it; my mission is for people to learn to love themselves. I get on Periscope five days a week because I want to help other people really like who they are. I want to be a fountain, not a drain.

Today, I failed. I reacted to you with anger instead of lovingkindess. I lashed out from pain instead of trying to find understanding for your behavior. That’s my bad, and I really hope you can forgive me. I’m guessing forgiveness is something you haven’t had a lot of in your life because when we try to hurt others it’s because we believe it will assuage our own pain. So, I’m sorry, dude. Truly.

I also wanted to talk about what you said, though, because I think it’s important to address these comments, too, for my friends who might’ve been watching and thinking, “This is why I can’t get on Periscope; I don’t want anyone talking to me like that.” Dude, my appearance is a thing. I get it. But there’s the thing about that – it shouldn’t be. I don’t owe you (or anyone) prettiness. Or even cleanliness. I don’t have to pay rent for my space on Earth by being visually appealing all the time…or even part of the time. I get to just exist; just like you get to just exist. We ALL get to just exist, man.

The only thing we owe each other is basic human decency which I failed to give you today, and again, I’m sorrier than I can say. I let you down. I let my friends down. I let MYSELF down. So I’ve unblocked you from my Periscope, and I really hope you come back because I’d like another chance to show you a better version of myself.